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loooooove, love with tear us apaaaaaart [10 Apr 2005|04:06am]
[ mood | good ]

ew, sorry about the non-updating. i could play it off like i'm really cool and really popular and i've been partying nonstop since my last update, but then that would be a big lie. and i'm not a liar. unlike what some people COUGHMANNYCOUGH think. in reality, i've been a lazy emo boy doing pretty much nothing, but my computer was dead for about two days and i couldn't update. all of my lo shientos to my patient fans out there. ::puts on pimp shades:: ::pops collar::
it's just that mr. sharpe influence.

anyway, so last night i went to the park for that party.. it was a lovely time. i'm loving how the parties are less and less dramatic. last night i felt bad for jimmy because he will never EVER be as hot as me, and then manny and i hung out and we had ice cream and i slid down a slide and we spun around like in titanic and just had an uber hot time in general. and i felt bad for her too because she'll also never be as cool as me. le shigh. don't feel bad, though, guys; it's an impossible task to accomplish. and it was also a hot time because i haven't hung out with my best friend in forever and a day. and that's not hot.

and the most uber-hot thing ever is that MY FAVORITE DIMESTACK EVER JAYTEE IS BACK! that makes me uber uber uber happy. i think someone should have a fieshta.

8 // MAKE IT HURT

..crying out my eyelids 'cause it's hard to be a man when you're scared just like a little kid [07 Apr 2005|12:27am]
[ mood | blah ]

195 comments? INSANITY! you people must really love me. but trust me, it's mutual.

so things have been crazy lately and i have no idea how this entry will end.

monday ashley came over. we were just hanging out, drinking tea, good innocent fun like that. and then we kissed and i'm a freaking moronmoronmoron and i hate it. and just some things happen that i shouldn't have allowed to happen, and some consequences have come and will come of that.

yesterday i picked ellie up from windsor. that was a lovely time, also. only not. talk about awkward and quiet and mewantingtotearmyhairoutforavarietyofreasons. and then ellie came back home with me and i'm letting her stay at my house.

and today i walked around the park and saw jaytee! we had a picnic at his house and it was fabulous. only not freaking again. i miss my old jaytee. a lot. i'm trying to act like things are normal maybe in the hopes that he'll miss his old life and snap out of everything he's gotten into and in not wanting to accept that things are different, because changes absolutely suck. i'm not going to give up on my dimestack. and then i saw ashley and we talked about some things.. some not so hot things.

and ehhhh, talk about sketchy. oh well. and ps, i love manny, because this entry needs some love and she's making me put this in there.

26 // MAKE IT HURT

let's get drunk, you can drive us to the harbor. wish upon a star, but do you know what stars are? [02 Apr 2005|03:12pm]
[ mood | bored ]

update on the manning-hilton-brightside/oberst wedding: heather and manny have been added as bridesmaids. yay!

really not much to update on. i've been a lazy emo boy again, and after i finish this, i am going to take a shower. so that i can smell all fresh and clean clean, whizat!

last night i stayed up until about 341236757234 am with my future wife talking to her online. hotness! joey has been hogging the computer like crazy lately with him and his workingness. le shigh. old people. he's like a fly on my poptart, minus the peanut butter.

nothing much more to write about.. exciting, non? i think so. i have to hurry and post this before manny breaks her refresh button. hotness. 'cause i kissed a drunk girl. only not, because i'm the drunk girl.

FIFTEEN COMMENTS! AHORA!

195 // MAKE IT HURT

and i'm so sorry that i've fallen, help me up let's keep this going.. [31 Mar 2005|02:43pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

yesterday at seven in the morning, i cried because manny and i's fifty-five hours of marriage were up, and we went to puerto rico on our honeymoon! it was hotness and fun times. but never you fear, we're going to get married again sometime! i suppose i have to since i keep her up too late talking to me and it's going to cause her to fail, and rather than having her work at mcdonald's, i'm going to marry her and she'll be the wife of this hot emo superstar and she's going to bear my 3645324125426243 children. HOTNESS! maybe you could call it a shotgun wedding with a lack of a future behind the trigger rather than a baby, but hey, i think she should be pregnant when we get married anyway. just because our kids are going to be so hot. and when we get married, i'm going to put on a wedding dress and roll around on the stage and sing like a virgin, and it would be incredibly fitting since she stole my virginity and all. and everyone is going to slip dollar bills under my dress, ashley kerwin included for that dollar. i forgot how i earned it, but hey, dollars are hot!

and now onto my wedding with mr. oberst! paige is going to be the minister; ellie is going to be the best woman; jimmy is going to be the ring bearer; ashley is going to be the flower girl? i think that's right. my stupid fiancee hasn't chosen anyone for his side of the wedding. i think that arienette should be the maid of honor. hotness.

conor is my eargasm slash hotgasm slash intellectasm. i am everyone's favorite morgasm, especially ellie's.

fiancee and i.Collapse )

16 // MAKE IT HURT

the blower's daughter, the pupil in denial.. i can't take my mind off of you. [29 Mar 2005|03:17pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]

so montreal was hotter than i thought it would be. basically, i hung out with ellie about the entire time and went around and terrorized the city in french. hotness! and went to lots of little cafes and threw up on her and had hot siamese twins wait on us, but hey, 'twas a good time! ha, for me. sorry about throwing up on you, ellie. even though i know you liked it.

so now i'm bad in good ol' to.. scratch the good ol' to part. this place bites. i wish i was somewhere else. like ohio. maybe. anyway..

i had a conversation with manny the other night, and we talked things out. i'm really hoping that things will be better between us, because she is my best friend and i'd be lying if i said i didn't miss her when we weren't talking recently. i'm just scared that she'll hurt me again in that platonic way that only she can. and again and again.
i think the fifty-year-aged manny and i are married right now! are fifty-five hours up? i don't know.

and also, i'm engaged to conor oberst! we're a happy couple. i'm not sure exactly when the wedding will be, but it will be hot. paige is going to get drunk and marry us and ashley is going to be the flower girl. HOT! and then i'm going to marry ashley and jesse lacey. tambien caliente.

closer is out on dvd today. i need to rent it. jude law is calienteness.
random, but does anyone watch family guy? you know stewie? does he not totally scream jude to you? he does to me! i don't know why. i guess it's that british thang, that hotness. oh baby. just look at the spice girls for an example of the hotness.

15 // MAKE IT HURT

i want so badly to believe that there is truth that love is real [27 Mar 2005|01:15am]
[ mood | okay ]

i'm in montreal and today mariah carey (technically, since it's like one am or something) is thirty-five. hotness.
my montreal trip is okay, but montreal is hot because they speak french. at first i was all pessimistic about it since i was rooming with spinner and whenever he was in the room, i'd be just sitting in the lobby alone eating snacks from the snack machine and getting fat, but i've moved in ellie's room, and it's a much better living arrangement for me. hopefully we won't lose the keys with us and our forgetful selves. i hear that spinner moved in jimmy's room and some kid kevin is in our old room, but i don't know and i don't care.

last night, emma and i hung out for a bit and checked out montreal and spoke french, and 'twas hot! today after i moved in ellie's room, we caused a scene on the elevator and had coffee at a hot french cafe.

FRENCH FRENCH FRENCH. hotness.

i've been listening to the postal service a lot lately. they are hot. almost as hot as ohio being for lovers!
because my heart is in ohiiiiiioooooooo.

yay, finally an upbeat entry. the postal service must have that effect on me.

34 // MAKE IT HURT

so tonight i'll sit and pick apart your pictures and overanalyze your words [26 Mar 2005|12:25am]
[ mood | sad ]

shortly before i left for alex's house, manny and i finished up our conversation. we won't be speaking again. and if she's going to always treat me like her doormat, then i really don't want to speak to her, anyway. they deserve each other. i couldn't think of a better couple. i'm trying to pretend that i'm moving on, and i'm doing better little by little, but sometimes jealousy overcomes me, and it gets hard.

so i arrived at alex's house, and we watched titanic (the hottest movie ever), but of course, rose lived and lived happily ever after, and jack died while rose hogged the door with her freaking greedy self. loser. anyway, i really meant to just show up and hang out and have a simple, innocent sleepover, but it didn't turn out that way; not so innocent and not much sleeping. i'm starting to think i'm really screwed up. i've already hurt ellie, and whatever we have between us has lasted only a few days. i slept over at alex's house, as is the nature of a sleepover, and in the morning i showered with her and left and went to ellie's.

ellie and i drank and were emo kids. we do that a lot, it seems, but it suits us. she's the only person who understands this mess that is in my head and doesn't judge me for it, and it means a lot to me.

i came home to an empty house and began to feel like crap, so i basically laid around for a few hours and then threw a bunch of clothes in my bag for montreal. i don't even know what i packed, but does it really matter?

and then i talked to jaytee. the conversation we had is haunting me. i would rather he had cussed me out and been horribly mean to me than the unattatched person completely i had spoken with who was different from the jaytee i knew. and that makes for the second person who i've loved who i found out they don't hate me, they just simply don't care. and that's worse than anything.

there's guilt eating away at me from all directions, and sometimes i wish that it would just eat me completely.

so i'm in montreal. woo hoo. it should be a hoot. at least ellie is here.

21 // MAKE IT HURT

private/ooc [25 Mar 2005|01:01pm]
Private/OOCCollapse )

you said you hate my suffering, & you understood & you'd take care of me.. well where are you now? [24 Mar 2005|11:27pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

this is a really weird update to make. a lot of things have happened with me in my personal life, and i've discovered some things that i don't know how public i should make. so i'll just tell as much as i feel comfortable with.

i can start with saying that i've listened to more emo music in the past few days than what is healthy. eh, what is healthy, anyway? it's a relative term. and so is crazy. but anyway..

shortly after i updated last, i was talking to manny and hearing about all the wonderful, great fun her and spinner are having and how they're so happy together and make each other feel wonderful and sunshine and teddy bears and fun things like that. lovely. i'm happy for them. really.

and then i got bored and angry and lonely among lots of other things, so i asked ellie if she wanted to hang out with me, so she came over. joey and caitlin and angie were gone somewhere; i don't even remember where. and you can imagine what happened next. i don't know what to say about it; i was stupid, and that's the only justification i can make without baring my soul on this stupid thing.

i didn't think of my favorite dimestack in the world while i was.. bored, cough, and i really regret that now. i'm truly sorry, jaytee. i would never try to hurt you or anything. i'm glad you don't hate me, because i would cry. a lot. and by a lot, i mean A LOT. i uber heart you.

i had a long talk with manny that day. and it was kind of good, kind of bad. but it can't change the fact that it freaking kills me to see my best friend and my ex-boyfriend together and so happy without me and to hear manny tell me that he doesn't care.

i've got too much on my mind. i'm about to go to alex's, so i need to go pack.

35 // MAKE IT HURT

did you see that one person and the way they do these subtle things and it hurts so much? [22 Mar 2005|01:36pm]
[ mood | blah ]

i didn't mean to stay out of school today, but i did. i woke up late, and joey just told me to stay home and clean. how hot.

only not.. only YES!

therapy tonight, woo hoo. it's pretty sad when that is the highlight of my non-existant life.

16 // MAKE IT HURT

please don't tell me everything is wonderful now [21 Mar 2005|08:01pm]
[ mood | cheerful, can't you tell? ]

such a lazy emo boy i am. i've basically done nothing. nothing at all. unless you count telling ellie that she can pierce my bellybutton and that i'm going to pierce the bottom of her bellybutton and betrothe them and tell her that she's going to have my children, i've really done nothing.

i haven't stayed out of school. that's good. my day's been following this schedule: wake up, go to school, come home, sleep, watch garden state several times, maybe get online, sleep again.

what an exciting, happy life i live.

and, of course, on tuesdays and thursdays i have therapy. unfortunatly for me, i don't have therapy today.

what's there to live for? all that i've ever had somehow manages to get away, and i never realize what is important until it is gone. everything i touch truly does turn into dust. i'm freaking cursed. i freaking hate everything. i freaking hate how i'm too stubborn to try to make the best of this. i freaking hate myself.

everything is wonderful.

12 // MAKE IT HURT

take it in context/it's not a bad thing/but when you start to pick it apart it/gets so depressing [15 Mar 2005|10:03am]
[ mood | drained ]

i've been sitting at home trying to string together the details i've gathered from various sources and of what i remember of saturday night. it's not helping much.

so basically, this is what i remember: at the reception, i showed up, ate an absurd amount of poptarts, was hit on by terri's grandpa (?), spinner and i fought, things are.. over.. ? i don't know. i really don't know. i haven't talked to him since then. sorry for not taking your advice, emma.
and i don't remember too much after that; only vaguely. i remember spinner running out, me being angry, and being really stupid, and apparently, i got really drunk. and from what i've gathered, i must have gotten really drunk with ellie and been all over her or something, and the other day i learned about what spinner was doing outside when he stormed out.. and i'm.. disapproving of that? angry? disappointed? have no freaking right to talk or be any of the above because how can i preach about spinner not doing any substances because i don't even know if we're still together and i'm always telling him not to drink and i go and get completely wasted? basically everyone is mad at me, and they have good reason to be. nobody is more mad at me than i am. i can be really, really stupid sometimes. and i hate it, to be completely honest.

i just don't really know.. anything. what to do or how to feel or what to think. thank goodness i have therapy today.

i went to school yesterday, but everything seemed so pointless. sitting in class after class learning the same stupid things that i'm never going to use; test after test, seeing friend after friend, saying greeting after greeting, but have you ever just gotten to that point where everything just seems so fake and you just have to get away? i have.. and that scares me. but i just don't even want to think about that right now. so i stayed home today. i'm just going to shut up now.

everything is fine. everything is freaking wonderful. or at least it will be. it has to be.

i'm just going to stop typing now. if i don't, i'd probably going to just type type type and say something wrong or think something that i shouldn't be thinking and it would be bad and lead me somewhere that i don't want to go.

STOP. TYPING. CRAIG.

26 // MAKE IT HURT

with the hushed cold and the jealousy running through my bones [11 Mar 2005|11:13am]
[ mood | cold ]

another week for cuhhhizraig. how hot! you know you love it.
i think i'm turning into a hilton sister. either that or a the simple life reject.
oh well. YOU LOVE IT!

so what has been new in the life of cuhhizraig.. not much. manny and emma came over the other night and we drank hot chocolate. because hot chocolate is hot!

spinnie, you and i need to do something! ooh la la.

okay, so maybe i was supposed to keep this on the dl, but it turns out that hazel isn't the only pregnant degrassian! our very own jaytee yorke is, also. with my child. hot.
the procedure behind this is a very secretive one, so i'm afraid i can't share it.

we're going to take a trip to atlanta in the states in the lovebus so that he can be a part of this pageant. hot.

30 // MAKE IT HURT

horrible craig-o [06 Mar 2005|05:31pm]
[ mood | hot ]

so apparently all the coolest kids are slashing out their entire entries. i'm a cool kid, so i'm going to, also!
::eats a blue grape::.. GREEN IS FOR LOSERS COUGHCOUGHCOUGHJAYTEE.

manny is horrible and won't write this entry for me. tears are streaming down my face as i write this entry.

so anyways, the other night manny came and spent the night with me and we drank hot chocolate and it was hot. we stayed out of school. because we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get. what freaking what.

then later that day, spinner, manuellalala, and i went to the dot. spinner and i got into another arguement. ::sigh::

and then i had mi fiesta de mi dieciseis y media anos! feliz media cumpleanos to me! how hot. i got a tutu! thank you, rick and ASHLEY. and thank you emma for the cd! and thank you toby for the gift card! and thanks to everyone else for any other presents i received!

so spinner and i got into a muy grande argument at my party. ::writes on chalkboard::..
"I WILL NOT BE A FLIRT. I WILL NOT BE A FLIRT. I WILL NOT BE A FLIRT."
in a nonflirtatious manner.

but then we made up. and all twas good! (i'm hoping.) and i'm being less of a flirt.
yay for me!

but manuellalala is still going to spank me ONCE and then make out with ellie.

and last night i went to the dot like all bored little emo kids do, and then spinner called me and invited me to meet him at the beach. i did, and twas a fun time. ;) we skinnydipped in the -4 weather! how hot! que caliente! in a figurative, NOT LITERAL, sense of course. lucky for me, i always carry around blowdryers with outlets and towels and fur coats in my leather jacket pockets. and then i had to leave! and i was sad.

I'M HORRIBLE FOR NOT UPDATING. i'd say spank me, but no. no more spankings for craig manning, anyone! i think it really is time for me to check into sa.

34 // MAKE IT HURT

FELIZ (half-o) CUMPLEANOS A CUHHHHIZRAIG! [27 Feb 2005|07:29pm]
[ mood | this onion is hot, ash. ]

short update, i don't have much to say EXCEPT that..
1. celine dion has been added to my list of people i am going to collaborate with.
2. tuesday (march first) is my half birthday, and i am going to be throwing an emo half-birthday party! i'll be sixteen and a half.

details..
time: whenever i freaking feel like it, GOSH. (nd style, what what.)
loca... tion!: mi casa, what what.
invited: all of you.
date: tuesday, the first of march, tuesday. le premiere mars, mardi. el premiero de marzo, martes. all of the above.
attire: DRESS CODE! since it's MY sixteen and a half birthday and not yours, everyone has to follow my dress code or be spanked SPANK ME! THE ENTIRE PARTY! everyone must be dressed emo.. boys, this means steal your girlfriend's (or sister's or neighbor's.. break in!) tight jeans, tight band shirts, highwaters, all that jazz EMO! girls, this means lots of scarves, guitar pick jewelery, ties, black gummy bracelets, et cetera.. be creative! all: no leather jackets, that's my bag, baby, lots of running mascara and eyeliner, tortoise shell glasses.. NO CONTACTS! we are going to cry and have a great big lovely time. or, rick, if you'd rather wear a dress, i'll look over that.
activities: pin the tail on the craigling, a pinata designed to resemble summer wheatly SULLY, we're going to eat a cake that resembles jay (affectionatly referred to as "jay cake") and serve it on plate stacks, et cetera! NO FREAKING ALCOHOL!
presesnts, oui ou non?: OUI! or at least half presents to stay with the theme of my sixteenth and a half birthday.. OR SIXTEEN AND A HALF PRESENTS! or, unless you're manuella, you can just SPANK ME PUBLICLY and be free of the honor of buying me a presents.

and i'll be expecting those sixteen and a half spankings.. ESPECIALLY YOU, MANNUELLALALA!

31 // MAKE IT HURT

in need of sa.. spanked anonymous. [26 Feb 2005|09:48pm]
[ mood | cold ]

okay, i really have nothing that i've actually done to update on, but a song that the one man craig band will be doing. more on that later in this entry.

so i'm on protest of manny.. SHE WON'T SPANK ME WHEN SHE PROMISED SHE WOULD! heartless. alors, currently i am on protest from her until she goes through with spanking me, and spanking me well. and manny and ellie need to make out.

et alors, when i am a tres grand emo superstar, i want to have big musical orgy (musically in a collaboration, you silly gooses!) and have my favorite pop singers ever join in. that list would consist of:
ashlee simpson
kelly clarkson
xtina
regina george of mean girls

more may be added to this list later. it's a hot list. i want to be the pizimp. and i am.
cuhhhhizraig the pizzzzimp.

so anyway, the one man craig band is at it again! more singles and we may be at it with a full album.. coming to a store near you! eventually. also eventually coming, ernie told me that he is going to write a song for terri and the one man craig band is going to put out a song for ellie. hot hot hot.
this is a cover.. kind of. anyway, check this out. love it. hug it. hot it. que caliente.

hot hot hotCollapse )

36 // MAKE IT HURT

say it, don't spray it [26 Feb 2005|12:16am]
[ mood | tired ]

after updating yesterday, i stopped by the dot. it was.. interesting, to say the least. jay, manny, and spinner were here. spinner seemed upset, so i asked him what was the problem, and he told me about his quarrel with mr. o, which led us into a quarrel of our own. but it's all good now. we resolved it and everything is peachy. :)

ernie came and was being.. creepy. ha. i had to leave, went to bed, and went to school, and had a wonderful time.. ha ha. RIIIIGHT. i can't wait until i'm a famous emo musician with the one man craig band and i won't need this so-called education.

next time, jay.. next time.

and because i think this is hot hot hot (everyone had better leave me a comment!):

Comment with the names of three people.
I have to pick one to push off a cliff, one to marry, and one to have sex with.
No exceptions!

47 // MAKE IT HURT

hot layout premiere [24 Feb 2005|11:18pm]
[ mood | so fresh and so clean clean ]

BAD BAD CRAIG!

craig's resolutions for 2005 (have i even made resolutions this year yet? if not, i'm making them now. what what.):
number one:
FREAKING UPDATE MORE!

spank me. ::coughs and protests::

anyway, the other day i went to the dot with spinnie. don't ask me what day, i'm just a little emo boy, and i don't remember much. we were acting all hot and coupley when spinner's (who wasn't working) boss got all upset and told him to cut it out, which resulted in spinner deciding to quit. i have to admit, at first i was a little skeptical and didn't want spinnie to throw his job away, but as long as he felt he did what was right, then i'm supportive.

angie's recital was yesterday. it was so hot. i was only upset that i couldn't be in the recital, but whatever. it's all good.. ::dabs eyes::

ANYWAYS! off of that heart breaking subject, i was jogging outside of the dot earlier when i saw spinner (and jt.. smoking. i stomped his cigarette, what what.) on the sidewalk outside of the dot, apparently debating whether or not to go in, so we went in together. unfortunatly, it was then that i realized that i had to go babysit angie in a few minutes, so i went home and babysat, took a shower, and now i'm writing this entry and about to go to the dot. que caliente.

BY THE WAY, LOOK AT THE HOT NEW LAYOUT!

31 // MAKE IT HURT

you would kill for this / just a little bit, just a little bit / you would, you would [21 Feb 2005|12:23am]
que naughty of me to not update. ::spanks self::

last night was the night of jay's party.. i don't think that i even saw him there, but whatever. ha, que una fiesta. spinner found me, and we walked over to jay's house, where alex was talking to paige about things and i had no idea what to do or how to help. there comes a point when you just can't help anymore if they won't help themselves. whatever. no se.

after everyone started going to bed, spinner and i walked around for a while, but considering that we live in canada and it's february, we began to get cold; therefore, we went back to my garage. but we were good little hot boys, OF COURSE. and in all aspects.. spinner's parents called me to make sure that he wasn't drinking, and i assured them he wasn't..

a longer or more detailed update soon. joey is a computer thief. boo on that.
29 // MAKE IT HURT

well HA HA HA [16 Feb 2005|06:39pm]
[ mood | bored ]

i had a fabulous valentine's day. :) i spent it with spinnie, of course, and ditched school that day.. education can't stand in the way of love, homies, and that love being the day that we call le jour de st. valentin.
ha ha ha. i've been watching too many hallmark commericals or SOMETHING. :) best valentine's day ever, though, i'll tell you that. more later there.

i was hanging at tyler's the other day with everyone.. good times. i'm really glad that i could help you have a better day, spinnie. we just sat around and talked and had coffffffee! yum yum yum. small times like those i love.

ahh my brain is so disorganized.

let's see.. what else can i steal your friends page space with.. therapy is going good, as usual. sam is awesome, as usual. my family is doing well, as usual. i'm a hot emo boy with syphillis, as usual. nothing more to update about.

angie has started ballet recently and she has a recital coming up soon. i really want to put on a tutu and dance with her on the stage, but i guess that's not allowed. i knew i should have signed up for ballet with her. oh well.
maybe i can pull an uptown girls and play my guitar on stage while the little girls dance and make the girls panic while i sing.

45 // MAKE IT HURT

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